1971 Rapes: Bangladesh Cannot Hide History

Posted on May 21, 2012 | 6 Comments

Worth a Thousand Words: Bina D’Costa Tracked Down the Australian Doctor Who Performed Late-Term Abortions on 1971 Rape Survivors. Image Credit: BDNews

The post- Liberation War generation of Bangladesh know stories from 1971 all too well. Our families are framed and bound by the history of this war. What Bangladeshi family has not been touched by the passion, famine, murders and blood that gave birth to a new nation as it seceded from Pakistan? Bangladesh was one of the only successful nationalist movements post-Partition. Growing up, stories of the Mukti Bahini, (Bengali for “Freedom Fighter”), were the stories that raised us.

My mother told me in 1971, you would send out the men in your family to look in large public parks for the bodies of loved ones who had “disappeared,” picked up by Pakistani soldiers.  Despite the endless killings and torture, she still says, “There was a feeling in the air that you could do anything. Everyone knew Independence was only a matter of time.”

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Mother’s Day: A Matter of Life & Death

Posted on May 10, 2012 | Leave a comment

Finally Meeting My Baby. Image Credit: Shayan Pahlevani

As a Bangladeshi woman, I could not have felt more fortunate when I decided to give birth in America. It was a natural choice for my American husband and I. After almost a decade working to ensure US foreign policy protects women’s reproductive health and rights, I was well aware that every year, approximately 529,000 women and girls needlessly die in childbirth. What I could not have imagined was how close I would come to becoming one of those numbers.

I come from a country that has one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the world, and though Bangladesh has famously slashed its maternal mortality numbers by 40%, too many women are still dying. The majority of births still take place at home, without the presence of a skilled birth attendant.

I felt so confident about my hospital choice in Washington. Deep inside, I understood how lucky I was to be able to access what I thought was some of the best health care in the world. During the course of my pregnancy, I never worried about complications during my delivery. I could not have been more wrong.

Women Cannot Truly Be Empowered Until We Are in Control of Our Reproduction. Image Credit: Flickr

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The Pinterest Gap: Is Pinning Only For Women?

Posted on May 7, 2012 | 2 Comments

To Pin or Not To Pin? The Female-Drive Social Media Site is Incredibly Addictive. Image Credit: Flickr

As a mother to an eight month old, you would think the main reason I am not getting enough sleep would be the new baby in our home.  But really I stay up late into the night while my husband and daughter sleep because, with iPhone tightly in palm, I am pinning the night away.

In the wee hours of the night, as my cat snores loudly at my feet,  I decorate the dream house that I so badly want down to the last corridor carpet. I collect images of the places in the world I visited and loved, along with pins of cities I cannot wait to see. I articulate my sense of personal style with images. I have gathered the recipes of foods I love to make and foods I will learn to make. I define my core feminist beliefs through pinning.

Oh and I have planned pretty much every one of my daughter’s birthday parties, every year until she is about 16 years old.

As “girly” and “silly” as this may seem, the number of women using this social networking site in droves is serious business. But do the statistics on women collecting and sharing pictures mean that Pinterest is just for females? The Salon’s Mary Elizabeth Williams describes Pinterests’ gender problem, saying that the gender gap exists even online:

Pinterest is a Great Tool to Organize Upcoming Milestones, Real Or Imagined. Image Credit: Flickr

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41 Years Later: Women’s Rights in Bangladesh

Posted on March 28, 2012 | 2 Comments

This past Monday, the 26th of March, was Bangladesh’s 41st Independence Anniversary. I was so happy that the issue of women’s rights four decades after we separated from Pakistan was featured on “The Stream” on Al-Jazeera. I had worked for months to get this issue on air.

Bangladesh is often touted as a “development star.” We slashed our maternal mortality rates by 40%, significant population decline, the success of micro-finance and two decades of back to back female leadership.

But none of this can be a testament to female empowerment in Bangladesh if we are failing women at a level of basic security. Acid violence, domestic violence, denial of the rapes that took place in 1971 to almost 400,000 Bangladeshi women, and the recent spike in sexual harassment, aka “Eve teasing,” will all taint the accomplishments of our vibrant women’s movement.

Watch the segment & let me know what you think.

Me on Alj-Jazeera's "The Stream," Talking Women's Rights in Bangladesh 41 Years After Independence.

As Bangladesh Celebrates Independence, the Struggle for Gender Equality Continues.Prepping With "The Stream" Hosts Imran Garda & Malika Bilal Before Going Live on Al-Jazeera.

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Asma al-Assad: To Shop or Not To Shop?

Posted on March 20, 2012 | 3 Comments

To Shop Or Not to Shop? That is the Only Question for Syria's Asma al-Assad. Image Credit: Flickr

British newspaper the Guardian recently revealed thousands of personal emails it uncovered between Syria’s President, Bashar al-Assad and his wife, Asma.

Amidst the beginnings of civil war brewing in Syria, and the slaughtering of civilians in Homs, one would be forgiven to think that the Assads were busy packing their bags, and boarding the nearest private jet out of Syria into exile.

But Syria’s ruling family is showing us that when your dictatorship is drawing to an inevitable end, there is no better therapy than retail. Emails obtained by the Guardian show an avid online shopper in Asma al-Assad, busy contemplating between diamond jewellery, chandelier lighting, and Louboutin shoes while her husband downloads Harry Potter films.

The Dictator & I: Why Are We Surprised Asma May Be As Ruthless As Her Husband? Image Credit: Flickr

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What is the Rush? Learning & Accepting the Art of Slowing Down

Posted on March 13, 2012 | 5 Comments

Last week, my husband and I made a trip down to Charlottesville to my alma mater, the University of Virginia (UVA), with our six month old daughter, Ava. It was honestly one of the happiest days of my life, walking through the university grounds, showing my college where I had gained a priceless education with my baby.

As I strolled through the shadows of my twenties still hanging around the edges of the  iconic pillars and columns of Jefferson’s village, a wave of nostalgia came over me, as it often does when I return to UVA, one of the few places I miss and long for even while I am there.

I thought about who I was back then, who I am now, and who I thought I would be. I found myself measuring my accomplishments while telling stories to  Ava about who her mother was before she and I had met.

Nostalgia: Who Are You Today vs Who You Thought You Would Be? Image Credit: Anushay Hossain

I stopped to show her the leaves on my favorite tree, the one right by the University chapel that bursts out in yellow splendor every year when Autumn arrives, and I found myself in panic mode. “Had I accomplished what I thought I would by 32? Am I who I should be, who I wanted to be, who I thought I would be?”

I shocked myself with not only the level of my sudden explosion of insecurities and doubts, but also with the fact that I was having this conversation with myself again.

Seven years ago when I was twenty five, I had a full on mini-breakdown over my lack of accomplishments. I had just completed my MA program, was almost 30 years old, and gasp, I had not written the book I was supposed to write, I had no city to call a home, did not own a home, and could not have been more lost or confused. I descended into a panic attack that lasted for months. Later I discovered this kind of “breakdown” was so common with my generation, it was dubbed the “Quarter Life Crisis.”

Sharing UVA With My Daughter, One of the Best Days of My Life. Image Credit: Shayan Pahlevani.

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No Country for Old Women: Demi Moore & Our Fear of Aging

Posted on February 7, 2012 | 4 Comments

Fall From Grace? Demi Moore Has Made Millions From Her Looks Alone. Image Credit: Flickr

Demi Moore’s recent divorce from her younger husband, Ashton Kutcher, and subsequent trip to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction have been documented all too well in the tabloids. We read the headlines, and exclaim our shock and horror at Moore’s “pathetic” behavior. Unable to keep her much younger man,  losing the battle with Mother Nature, guilty for beginning to show her true age, Moore reportedly turned to substance abuse to keep her fledgling self-confidence afloat. We can balk as much as we want at Demi Moore’s troubles, but how long can they distract us from our own insecurities?

With the deluge of bad press Demi has recently gotten it is easy to forget who this woman used to be, and I am sure somewhere deep inside, still is. Demi Moore was an icon in the 1980′s, an original member of the “Brat Pack” with movies such as St. Elmo’s Fire, Ghost, A Few Good Men under her belt amongst countless others.

She was also a trailblazer for women in Hollywood, breaking the film industry’s glass ceiling by becoming the first female actress to secure a $12 million paycheck, a salary once only paid to male actors.

Happier Times: Moore Sealed Her Comeback in the 1990s By Dating Actor, Ashton Kutcher. Image Credit: Flickr

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